Make your own rustic eggs "Benedict"

Ain't nobody got time for poaching eggs!

Dear hopeful reader,

Ever since I’ve been chronically ill, I’ve been hyper-aware of my limitations. My body understands what is feasible, what feels like walking—or metaphorically trying not to drown—through sinking sand. Even if a certain task may seem easy-peasy to someone who’s well, I don’t have enough physical and mental spoons to scoop me out.

Ever since I understood that being chronically ill isn’t normal—living in denial was a thing for me in the past—I’ve been perfecting ways of making life easier. In other words: reducing steps to do a certain task so I have enough strength and energy for something else. That includes cooking—something I both love and loathe doing.

If you’re someone who’s also chronically ill or pressed on time or wanting to experience something new in meal preparation, I have a fun, simple non-recipe recipe to share with you.

Warning: going forward this essay will have a more light-hearted, silly tone—I’m in the mood for some funny attitude. Warning part deux: you may or may not laugh, but it’s not necessarily my fault if you do or don’t. If you don’t, you may have a bad sense of humor, though, and you may want to watch some slapstick comedy films and shows. Warning the third: you may get hungry, so maybe eat first then read. Without further ado…

I call my recipe the rustic eggs “Benedict.” The quotes—well, you’ll see why I use them soon enough. Also, I won’t be sharing how much of what you need because my brain just doesn’t work that way. My only advice to you is:

Feel it in your gut of guts, then create your culinary magic.

For your rustic eggs “Benedict” you’ll need:

• Chicken eggs, ostrich eggs if you can steal some, or vegan eggs(?!)

• Salmon fillet(s) or some pieces of smoked salmon

• Ready Hollandaise sauce (no time to make that from scratch—sheesh!)

• One avocado (very specific with this one at least)

• Ghee oil spray or some other cooking oil

• Microgreens (fancy, are we?)

• Lemon or lime juice or whatever floats your boat of citrus juices

• Your favorite herbs and/or spices

• Sea salt or kosher salt or whatever salt you like to salt on someone’s wounds

Here’s what I use:

The sockeye salmon was gifted by my parents-in-law who received it as a gift from their friends who got it from somewhere. But any salmon would do, even smoked salmon. One advantage with smoked salmon is, it’s ready to be consumed. So keep that in mind, and the reduction of steps in your meal preparation.

I get my 4th & Heart ghee spray oil from Wegmans or Whole Foods. The AeroFarms microgreens can be found in Whole Foods too. The already prepared Hollondaise sauce I use is by Primal Kitchen, which can be conveniently bought in bulk on Amazon then used for bath time, if that tickles your pickle.

The step reduction is helpful, as you won’t be preparing it from scratch. Cool thing with that one also is, it has no dairy. If you’re lactose-intolerant, that’s a big plus. Although it doesn’t stop me from indulging in some (or a lot of) butter and cheese—oh, I could swim in sea of those. I just pop two capsules of Enzymedica and hope for the best. But I digress.

Now, it’s preparation time, baby! Spray your ghee on one pan then cook your salmon in it, or bake it in the oven. Salt, herb, and/or spice it to taste, or as we like to call it in Russian to the touch (на ощупь). And that’s literally how I cook anything—by mere visualization, guesswork, and/or intuition. (The husband hasn’t been complaining.) Are you wired that way too?

In another pan sprayed with ghee oil, or an oil, just not petroil, too, fry up your egg or eggs to your liking. I personally like my eggs on a more runny side, so I make sure my salmon is almost/already ready before they are. Also, about the quotes. Eggs Benedict—they won’t be. Ain’t nobody got time for poaching eggs! Or I don’t.

However, I did find an easy, guaranteed way of poaching them should you want to try a different method of preparing the fowl bounty. But step and time reduction—you won’t have that with this, unless you focus on other preparation steps while waiting for the poaching magic. Let me know how that turns out for you!

While the salmon is baking or already smoking (say it with a Jim Carrey from The Mask tone, I triple dare you) and the eggs are sizzling, warm up the Hollandaise sauce in a saucepan or small pot. At the same time, if you have two more arms, slice your avocado and throw in some microgreens on your plate where your meal will soon be. I usually squirt some lemon juice on them. Lime juice works too if you prefer it more.

When all your ingredients are prepared, first add the salmon to your plate, beside the citrusy bed of microgreens. Place the avocado slices on top of the salmon, followed by the egg. Then pour your warmed Hollandaise sauce. Et voilà! The delectable result:

That’s what I call the rustic eggs “Benedict.” You may be wondering, what’s up with that word rustic? What does that even mean? Well, rustic is a prettier way to say homely, plain, unsophisticated.

The way these eggs are prepared is simple. The way the meal looks may be awkward, not so pretty. Yet, you’ll be satisfied with your delicious and nutritious breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, or supper (brunch at supper—why I never—and yes please). And that’s all that matters.

Also, I’m rather fond of that word. It makes me think of olden wood, a fireplace, the countryside, simplicity, everything naturally and randomly beautiful. What does it make you think of?

I became fond of that word ever since I first heard it watching The Chef Show co-hosted by Jon Favreau and Roy Choi. Throughout the show, the dynamic duo have often used the word rustic to describe something they make that looks imperfect by aesthetic standards of fancy gastronomes, I suppose.

But in my humble opinion, their dishes look elaborate, beautiful, and flavorsome. I highly recommend the show for some delicious inspirations, as well as Chef, the movie. Just don’t watch on empty stomach. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Anyways, I hope you like my rustic eggs “Benedict” non-recipe recipe. Of course, one can’t always indulge in salmon, in these economically strange times especially, so you can use a replacement like ham or a piece of bread. The sauce can become gravy, the microgreens can be replaced with shredded spinach. Mash your avocado. Add cheese if you want. Or whipped cream—hey, I’m not judging!

Get creative with what you can have. Use your intuition or some equivalent of that, if that’s your approach. And remember to simplify the steps of the cooking process for yourself so you don’t get overwhelmed. My recommendations for that are:

1. Use a few ingredients that are ready-made if you can afford it

2. Work on something while waiting for something else to cook

3. Prepare using a simpler method, e.g.: fried eggs instead of poached

Are you going to try out this recipe? Please send me photographs after you do! And do share your food hacks in the comments so others can learn of new ways to avoid burnout and ‘time sink’ in the kitchen. Thank you!

Yours hopefully,

Nadia

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