"She comes / she goes," an after poem on unrequited love

as the earth erupts the moon / shifting to the darker side

Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin

Dear hopeful reader,

I first heard Je t’aime…moi non plus by Serge Gainsbourg with Jane Birkin when I was a young adult. There was something wondrous about it, and titillating. But also melancholy. While it’s a love song, I can tell it’s about unrequited love. One lover loves too much, while the other too little, if not at all. After all, “moi non plus” in French means “me neither.”

There were times in my life when I loved others too much, gave too much of me. And vice versa. I think unrequited love is a universal experience. But personally, unrequited love for a friend hurt me more than romantic love ever did. I still don’t quite know why.

The last time I let myself love someone too intensely it hurt, I wrote a poem titled “She comes / she goes” to release me and let them go. It was inspired by Gainsbourg’s song. In my piece, the narrative perspective is flipped, giving higher power to the female voice as the one who loves too little / not at all. The male voice is in italics. You could say the after poem is a reexamination and reinterpretation of Serge’s love song.

Also read: An after poem to a song from The Lost Boys

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She comes / she goes

I love her,

ah, she comes as she goes
in soothing, playful waves
at first, a conch shell remains
with a siren song in her place.

I love her, ah,
yes, I love her.

Ah, she comes then she goes
with stronger tides yet
as the earth erupts the moon
shifting to the darker side.

I love her, ah,
yes, I love her.
And she loves—

Ah, she comes but she goes
like tsunamis when an indigo
butterfly flaps flaps flaps
creating chaos all around.

I love her, ah,
yes, I love her.
And she loves
me neither.

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In my early thirties, I’m more secure in who I am. I have healthy relationships with my family, my husband, and my friends. I feel only love, balance, peace, compassion, freedom, and mutuality. I don’t give myself to those who don’t need it. I also don’t expect it from anyone.

I must say that to get to the point of feeling confident and unshakable takes time and hard work on one’s self. But it’s not impossible, I promise.

Did you ever experience unrequited love?

Yours hopefully,

Nadia

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