Collation of writing at when hope writes
Fiction, poems, essays, and more
Dear hopeful reader,
Living in a painful body is, well, painful, frustrating, and boring. So I’m grateful for my brain that imagines, that conceives weird dreams, that lives in words and pauses between those words.
I’ve been escaping the mundanity and loneliness of life through writing since I was eight, but even more fiercely at the age of fourteen to now. After joining Substack, I realized just how much more I needed writing for my sanity and well-being!
I used to only write poetry, then I branched out to other forms, but to a limited extent. Writing on Substack and reading and perusing phenomenal, provoking work by other writers and creators compelled me to expand myself and experiment further.
I’ve written fiction, essays, listicles, even nonsense. My focus has coincidentally yet unsurprisingly been on video games—gamer girl since 1995 over here—but not only. There’s so much inspiration to be found in gaming, and also in cinema, music, art, culture, dialogue, words themselves.
Today I’m sharing pieces of writing I’m most proud of. Eventually the writing will be replaced by other writing I’ll be more proud of. Meanwhile, I hope there’s something for everyone to enjoy. You can also peruse the archive for more poetry, fiction, and other stuff I haven’t compiled here.
Prose
Excerpt: “I close my weary eyes, and toss and turn to oblivion. Warily, I walk the path to the conifer until dreamland swallows the waking world whole.”
Excerpt: “This biome gave up too, frozen and wasted. And yet, the pool of unknowns shivers with life. It teases me, and I cannot help but sink.”
Excerpt: “And so, you put on your ginchiest tux, get your kick sticks out you’re compelled to smoke at every pause, and take yourself down to the Blue Casket. It’s open mic tonight, baby, and you have a few things to wail!”
Excerpt: “Outside the rain has since stopped, if not for much longer. Patches of sun peeked through honeycomb clouds, as Enola imagined the gappy floating droplets.”
Excerpt: “The three-headed man works in the laundromat downstairs, greeting visitors in riddles or proverbs of stranded times, of times unseen. Of a time that was once now.”
Poetry
Excerpt: “ah, she comes as she goes / in soothing, playful waves / at first, a conch shell remains / with a siren song in her place.”
Excerpt: “So vast, dark waters have taken, and have taken you—whence and where you’re then and there, and now where when at all.”
Excerpt: “High upon the palm I will be / first witness to the Sun.”
Excerpt: “Walled by mountains full of apples / the sky was so low I could swing / for a star & burst from a wish.”
Excerpt: “where we truly are, without end / we are.”
Essays
Excerpt: “All that is poignantly portrayed in the adaptation. The fear of loss and loneliness. The helplessness and hopelessness of a dire situation. The love and care for one another. The determination to endure and survive together, after all. But something isn’t quite right—missing.”
Excerpt: “When Adrienne departed the world too soon, she was at her happiest. She was married to a loving, supportive husband, Andy Ostroy, whom she met on Match in 2001. They were in love, happy, feeling lucky.”
Excerpt: “Perhaps such a gripping and involved story could have been better adapted as a show with more fleshed-out and nuanced characters, elaborate plots, and encompassing settings.”
Excerpt: “Life and dreams aren’t separate to me. Dreams make a gracious addition to my testing yet meaningful existence, reinforcing me further with patience, protection, imagination, and intuition.”
Excerpt: “The root of a plant gives it sustenance and foundation to grow and live. Music of the folk gives a person nutrition and grounding for the soul to evolve and bond with others. In different ways they’re the same.”
More
Excerpt: “There are some words that one may never use in poetry or prose, unless the context calls for it. However, they’re so evocative that they rouse such powerful emotions and images in one’s mind, especially when you know what they mean.”
Excerpt: “One of the ways I challenged myself was watching insightful videos done by thoughtful individuals from all kinds of backgrounds. I learned to respect others’ perspectives even when I didn’t necessarily agree with them.”
Excerpt: “I would tell anyone working on a creative project to invite others into the conversation, don’t estrange them. We’re stronger and more united when we’re together.”
Excerpt: “So, today I’m sharing four horror comics you should read in the hibernal dark—to make sense of their worlds to make sense of yours.”
Excerpt: “Horror in gaming is even more palpable as you play the protagonist of the story. Seeing what they’re seeing, feeling what they’re feeling—they blend with you and you with them. You become them in devastation, and maybe catharsis.”
Thank you for being here, for reading my work, for leaving hearts and heartening comments, for spreading the word to others, for sharing vulnerable parts of you, too. I appreciate and adore you all more than I can express it in writing.
Yours hopefully,
Nadia
I need more time to do all your posts justice, but I arrive here after reading a few on my way to this point of comments: wow! You write so beautifully and I simply want to know more; more about your life in Kazakhstan, and adjusting to a completely different life, the onset of chronic pain, and everything else that matters to you. Congratulations for your collation thus far!
Thank you for this format! It reminds me of looking at the guide on the back of a fancy box of assorted chocolates. I really enjoy your fiction. It reminds me a bit of Jack Vance.